I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize