I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If I die, sorry about rent.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
