i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
