My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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