Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
