I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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