i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
