You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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