after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
