If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
