I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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