i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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