R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize