Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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