we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
