Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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