I must be too annoying 4 u.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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