I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Houston, we have a squirter
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
