he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
