What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
