So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize