I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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