i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
