You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
