she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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