We named our party play list daddy issues
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
