stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can I color on your dick again?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
