Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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