I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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