i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
