I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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