You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
