Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
