So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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