I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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