she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
