I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize