How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
