IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize