How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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