I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize