Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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