:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
