1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
