she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
