nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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