I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
