ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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