my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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