How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
