Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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