Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
