I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
