i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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