so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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