The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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