this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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