I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
