He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
