He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think your dad took our porno
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
