lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
