can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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