Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
