I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
