Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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