apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
