hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
