I heard we made out
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
